Listening to myself speak

Every voice I hear is different.

Hearing my name like an afterthought

I can’t stand to bear witness.

Forever the child, crying eyes scrunched closed

Not a single part of me left unbowed.

Hearing the same rumbling echo inside of my head

The engine of a train loud enough to silence a crowd.

I’ll never be the same I tell myself

I’ll never be made whole.

Like an amateur behind the wheel of a race car

I’ll never feel in control.